Quick review on media gaslighting of the public about Bobby Fischer. A particularly notorious detractor who made repeated attempts to grab headlines around the 1990s is a character, “Ron Gross”.
According to E. J. Rodriguez, Gross is claimed to have been 13 years of age, moved to New York, mid 1950s, becoming fast friends with young Robert Fischer. “Two thirteen year olds walk through the streets of New York,” E. J. Rodriguez summarizes in Spanish.
Fact. Ronald Gross was 19 when Bobby Fischer was 11.
I recommend skeptics check chessgames.com, notably conspicuous are the absence of games one would expect from “two thirteen year old” chess addicts, living in New York, IF such claims were true.
Ron Gross was a lifetime resident of Compton, California from the 1950s till the 1970s when his residency changed to Long Beach, California.
The L.A. Times Sunday Chess column by Isaac Kashdan, New York Times and California Chess Reporter confirm the residency, membership and participation of Ron Gross in Southern California chess circles.
The logical conclusion is, Ron Gross was never a close childhood friend of Bobby Fischer.
Ron Gross was not even in the same chess league as Bobby Fischer.
California Chess Reporter notes Ronald Gross and M. K. Saca were drawing in the California Open Tournament when Bobby Fischer was capturing the 1957 Cleveland tournament, beating out Arthur Bisguier.
By 1958, young Fischer would be on his way to not only capturing the national championship, but winning International tournaments.
Ron Gross was known to Bobby Fischer only in an obscure sense, hence, the chessgames.com archive is absent of games between Fischer and Gross. Contemporary newspapers between 1955 and 1972, fail to mention Bobby Fischer knowing, or even acquainted with Ronald Gross. However, Bobby Fischer does mention William Lombardy and vis versa, because their friendship was a well established fact.
Throughout my newspaper archives which focus on Bobby Fischer in 1955, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61 and so on, the name of Ronald Gross is absent.
Bobby Fischer invited his close, endearing friends to accompany his entourage to the 1972 World Championship when Fischer met Boris Spassky including the ONLY BLACK MAN in attendance at the event, Archie Waters, whom Fischer regarded as a mentor.
But Ron Gross was absent.
(Edit) 1:45 "Bobby Fischer was known to Ron Gross only in an obscure sense." Because Bobby Fischer likely wouldn't have known Ron Gross from a hole in the ground.
What was it like being daughter of “Boss Level Karen”?
On one occasion, around 1990, when she learned I intended to get a job at a local grocery store, she called the manager whom she knew personally and threatened, “If you hire Sharon, I will never speak to you again!” That translated to, “I will ruin your life with gossip.” Everyone knew the implications, so I didn't get the job.
When I conferred with the Matriarch about hope to enroll in an online college she responded with, “I don't care to talk about that garbage!”
Hopes or dreams as any other person might have? The matriarch had long since instilled crippling self-doubt to insure I was self-isolated and vulnerable.
She monitored any associations I kept. As soon as she had their ear, she filled them in on “Sharon's mental problem.”
When my ex-husband, the estranged biological father of my two children came to visit with us she learned of it. She gave me an earful how I was “behaving like a wh @ re”.
In the matriarch's eyes, I was her daughter... a 30 year old child, her property to treat however she may... but who or what was he to me?! The knowledge that anyone ... any person... were present to witness my activities while imprisoned in isolation were a real threat to her gossip narrative.
The matriarch regarded herself as the center of the cosmos, with all answerable to her.
The perpetual double standards were too much to bear.
According to the United Nations Human Rights Office of High Commissioner, prolonged Isolation, or solitary confinement, “This deliberate infliction of severe mental pain or suffering may well amount to psychological torture,” and “The severe and often irreparable psychological and physical consequences of solitary confinement and social exclusion are well documented and can range from progressively severe forms of anxiety, stress, and depression to cognitive impairment and suicidal tendencies.”
Born on the Autism spectrum, it was difficult enough alone to attempt socializing, but when a Narcissist parent, skilled in the crime of manipulative relationships is targeting you, it becomes impossible.
I have came to realize that if it were a problem I had, she was entirely responsible for it.
Around 2003, for the first time in my life, I acquired access to the internet. It was a personal culture shock, transitioning from years of social isolation to a sudden exposure to the world.
Prior to this, the only form of socialization approved by the matriarch, and to keep the peace, was the occasional visit I was pressured into making at her church. A social outlet she dominated through networking. Every person in attendance was under the spell of her narrative which amounted to nothing more than idle gossip.
Although some had never seen me, or perhaps saw me briefly in passing in a span of a couple years, they seemed to feel they knew everything about my life and despised me.
Why would I want to attend? So many bad memories attached to religion because of such people.
About a year ago, I went through every one on my social media account and began the “UNFRIEND” process. I questioned myself, “Where was this person during my life's darkest hours?”
Nowhere to be found. Unfriend.
”Has this person ever expressed anything remotely close to my heartfelt beliefs, or a kindred spirit?” Another dozen got the unfriend treatment.
Remove the deadweight from my life, for what purpose do they serve? Read their posts, and they're pressuring me to act against my conscience.
One in particular stood out. A woman I believed was my friend since childhood. When I explained about how shabby my family treated me because they wanted to cover up childhood sexual abuse, she was the first to come forward, pressuring, that I needed to put it behind me and “Move on.”
Was she there for me as a shoulder to lean on, when at age 15 I told the matriarch about the crime but the matriarch CHOSE to sweep it under the rug instead of going straight to the Sheriff Department?
Was she there to console me when the matriarch said, “You CHOSE to start your sex life at that young age.”
No. She wasn't. She wasn't there at all.
She was not my friend and had no business doling out advice about things she has no understanding of.
Was she there when my brother mocked and scoffed that the sister he had pressured to drink, at age 13, so he could hand her over to his new friends to score points.
Was she there to encourage me, “We MUST report this crime to police!” No, she wasn't.
She was never there during good times or bad. She is nothing but a social media profile.
Was she there when I was all alone with my head full of false religious doctrines about how girls who preserve their virginity will be blessed by God, but the Bible oddly is absent about what God's recompense for rape victims is.
I had to look myself in the mirror every day, believing, “I am cursed now. No decent man will ever want anything to do with me. All my hopes and dreams of a good wholesome marriage have been destroyed.”
Was she there to help me carry the burden of this self loathing hatred, instilled from birth and to my eternal detriment? No, she wasn't there.
Was she there when I began exhibiting symptoms associated with rape trauma, that occur because your negligent mother, the matriarch REFUSED to seek rape counseling or report the crime to police?
Where were my FRIENDS?
Was she there during the years of isolation behind four walls, as so-called family sought to hide the blacksheep, pretend I didn't exist? Except to rewrite narratives that I was the villain, and they the “victim”.
Ah, she was absent.
Who was there? A friend I acquainted online during research about scientific origin of whales.
During our conversations I discovered he was a flaming liberal and myself, extremely conservative. The more he argued for women's emancipation from tired and worn out roles the more I gained introspection into my own troubled life.
After many years of being subjected to what felt like imprisonment for a crime I had not committed, relatives blaming me for victimizing those poor helpless rapists, the courage came from within to pick up the phone and call the police.
I was 35 by then. The crime was committed when I was thirteen.
22 years! allowed to roam by the matriarch to commit heinous acts against somebody else. But why should I be angry about that? “Just move on. Just put it behind me eh?”
22 years after the crime, I began to wake up and realize, “I was the victim.” Nobody, if rarely had been saying that. Nobody had affirmed it by their actions.
I picked up the phone and asked for a deputy. “If a brother, 19, pressures his sister to drink alcohol, and it leads to the crime against a child...” The Deputy stopped me mid sentence. “Ma'am, just the fact that a 19 year old provided alcohol to a minor would make him an accessory to the crime!”
First time somebody pierced that armor of silence lousy so-called family built around me.
GUILT CONFIRMED!
The law was on my side. My ears had not deceived me. I picked up the phone and called straightway to the Matriarch.
”I just spoke with the Sheriff department. The deputy said just the fact that Danny provided alcohol to a minor made him an accessory!”
In the background, chaos erupted. “She wanted to drink! She wanted to drink!” After years of being coddled and protected by the matriarch's web of lies, it all began to unravel.
Even Danny had enough sense to know if the Sheriff Department became involved she would happily throw him under the bus to preserve her own self-righteous reputation. That's why she protected him all those years.
She couldn't allow people to know HER son committed a crime against a child. All she cared about was her own precious reputation & public appearances.
From reports that filtered through after that fateful phone call, his behavior quickly unraveled and dangerously unhinged.
True to his cowardly nature, he departed and went to his dwelling place. There he proceeded to swallow all medication that had been provided to him to control blood flow in relation to a recently amputated limb.
He died that night, and I felt no loss. Justice was served cold.
He went to his grave the coward he had always been enabled by the Matriarch. Never once did he apologize, “Sharon, I'm sorry I ruined your life.”
The Matriarch would resort to claiming “Sharon is out of control!”
Why? Because for the first time in my life I was asking questions and standing up for myself against a Matriarch and a Bully and her Charles Mansonesque offspring cult following.
That crime? I was intimidated into isolation, silence for 35 years of my life. Brainwashed to believe it was “my fault”. Badgered with shame, guilt, accused.
My life was stolen.
Reports made their way to me that Danny laughed I was “licking my lips” at the rapists as if I encouraged them.
Forbidden justice. Forbidden rape counseling. The very people responsible for protecting me, completely and utterly FAILED me.
If it was justice I got when the accomplice took his life, I got it for myself by going against the Matriarch's criminal logic by reclaiming my human rights.
Diana, if it were you who never got their day in court, intimidated into silence YOUR entire life, would you be so willing to put it behind you?
2021 the matriarch died & by breaking my silence, I AM moving forward.
Hi, I am here again to share another fond memory of my childhood. However, before doing so, I would like to explain what caused me more pain than even a parent's fist or use of a wooden board to beat the hell out of a child was the fact, Americans tend to become blinded to child abuse, or abuse of any nature, when the people that are committing the crime have money and superficially, “well adjusted.”
Such people always keep their evil doings behind closed doors. If the victim dare entertain thoughts of reporting the crimes that hope for justice and liberty is shot down with, “If you do that, when your father comes home he will take you behind the chicken barn and you're going to REALLY GET IT!”
Which implied triple or quadruple any violence and suffering yet endured by their victims.
Hence, the abuser invalidates your feelings, civil rights and boundaries. Next on the list is the gaslighting. Being told by your abuser, “You weren't 'spanked' enough!”
Since when has “spanking” been defined as being thrown to the ground and kicked while an out of control parent screamed in irrational rage? Or, forced to the ground and a tree limb used to smash you on all four limbs of your body, and eventually smash the heavy limb across your head?
The abuser gaslights you. “You imagined it.” “That never happened.” Minimizing the crime. “You weren't spanked enough!”
When you're surrounded by abusers who gaslight you and people on the outside either will not listen to your cries for help, or worse, enable it.
This kind of environment is a certain recipe for disaster making.
One Sunday morning, perhaps around age 10, I was outside, doing what a kid does, probably watering the farm animals or in the middle of any conceivable farmyard chore.
Out the door comes the Patriarch. I've stated before, he was nearly impossible to read. He might be best described expressionless with a hair trigger, at least in private.
He was exiting the back door of the house, and asks, “What do you want me to spank you with?” His question was unexpected. Stunned, I asked, “What's wrong?!” He responded something about I had left a little honey on my breakfast plate.
He was a beekeeper. He took the leftovers as a personal insult.
Not much else be said, but I was thrown to the ground, kicked around as he unleashed his pent up stress and anxiety, on a human child for a punching bag.
Back when I was a teenager, I had a job that typically ran from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. Actually, my parents approved of their school aged child working in direct contradiction with federal labor laws. My narcissist mother put room and board money over my welfare and education. But that's a story for another day.
I woke up around 3 or 4 p.m. and as I always did, headed to the kitchen for coffee and a cancer stick. (Yes, once upon a time I used, as I observed the Patriarch do it his whole life).
As I came through the kitchen, the matriarch was cleaning fish. She snapped impatiently, “I want you to get in here and help me clean these fish.”
She was inconsiderate like that. I had just woke up after a long night shift and not even had time to wake up with coffee.
It was clear to me, from the tone of her voice she was eager to provoke confrontation. Especially since there were no witnesses. She snorted, “One day God is going to break YOU! David and Danny's knee caps and command you to bow down before me and beg my forgiveness!”
Still half asleep I retorted with, “If that's so, who's going to judge you?!”
I hadn't even had time to wake up, enjoy my afternoon wakeup coffee before she had dropped the fish and came bolting after me.
The porch was under construction and I tried to jump over the railing, but she caught me in midjump. Dangling by the hair of my head, wringing, hard as she could.
Like a worm on a hook I wriggled with all my might to pull myself free of her grip.
Finally I broke free. How much hair I lost during the struggle I will never know. But as I took off sprinting a sibling appeared, attracted by the matriarch's manic commotion. “Get her!” shouted the crazed matriarch. “Grab her!” I was running for my life and looked over my shoulder in a panic. “If you have any love in you for me, leave me alone!”
I ran as fast as I could and on my hands and knees crawled into the safety of the crawl space under the TV Repair shop building. Finally, I was momentarily able to catch my breath. I heard a neighbor come outside after she heard the bloodcurdling screams. “Is everyone okay?”
The narcissist matriarch being an expert at crocodile tears and facades, had already had time to compose herself and fall back into character of a skilled manipulative gaslighter, to project guilt and shame on to her victim.
Maliciously she replied, “It's Sharon. She has mental problems.”
I was left sitting in the crawl space with her whole lifetime of deception, still never ceasing to amaze me.
When a child is being used as a punching bag because the parent had a bad day, who cares?
When the child has a bad day, nobody cares, because “Children are to be seen and not heard.”
Just read your Holy Bible.
With purple whelps covering the legs, the child runs away from home.
Unfortunately police force the teenager back to live with the negligent and abusive parent, because who listens to a victim of child abuse when the parent is a land owner and social climbing tax paying narcissist?
When the negligent abuser fears she and her husband will be exposed for their abuse and neglect she feigns victimhood, resorting to accusing her child victim of lesbianism to prevent justice intervening on behalf of the child.
Swept under the rug!
This teaches a child that child abuse is normal.
It is pointless to report abuse, to tell police you're being abused, when they are under the charismatic spell of a Narcissist, and just when you begin to rise and show the deputy the bruises covering your legs, they snap at you, the victim, “Sit your fanny down! You don't look abused!”
The Narcissist parent is standing there, smug, confident, that once again she has snowed the county authorities and can talk her way out of anything. No law applies to her. She is above the law and you, as her offspring have no civil or human rights and she can do ANY THING she pleases.
When juvenile officers investigate, she plays on their hatred of homosexuals to divert focus off herself, accusing you the victim and the cousin's whose mother reported her to Child Protective Services, of being “Lesbians”.
Of course I had no idea she had resorted to such an absurdly dishonest tactic until an investigator arrived at the high school, calling me and my cousin to the office. We sat down and for 20 minutes were interrogated about our relationship.
We did realize they were somewhat odd questions, then finally, he came right out with it, dismayed, “You're both not sexually involved with each other?!”
Me and my cousin Shelly looked at each other in shock and astonishment, speechless for a few seconds, “OF COURSE NOT!”
Taken aback by such disturbed allegations, I would soon realize DSS ignores when a child beater parent is caught LYING TO THEM.
They simply wipe their hands of it and tell the child they're forbidden contact with their cousin because nobody cares about the child's welfare.
Forbidden contact with a cousin, the only human outside of the Narcissist's web who had the sense to recognize CHILD ABUSE when she saw it, and report it to authorities.
But they did nothing. They took the word of the Narcissist child abuser as Gospel truth.
That! was the end game of the Narcissist abuser. To isolate her victim from any possibility to form a social support network for self-advocacy.
Thanks to the Brunswick County Sheriff Department and the failure of a so-called Child welfare agency I was shoved back behind four walls to languish in abuse and isolation.
Nobody had MY back.
Regularly subjected to Narcissist psychopathic outbursts, their need to use my body as a punching bag to alleviate their stress and vicious triangulation mind games enjoyed with total impunity.
Part II
To elaborate on the absurdity of what led up to the bludgeoning I described in my last video, titled, The End Game.
The crime committed by the Patriarch, took place on a Sunday. This, I am certain of. Saturday was the sabbath and work of any kind, forbidden. Sunday, was a day of labor.
Around that time, the Patriarch operated a private television and electronics repair business. A local had sold him a used TRS 80 computer. I had never seen a computer before and when I walked into the shop that Sunday and my sister playing on it, I began observing it.
Suddenly the door opened and in walked the Patriarch in a gruff mood. He barked, "I want you to get outside and mow the lawn."
Of course, such demands were never made of the older sister playing on the computer, only myself or my brothers.
I didn't JUMP when the patriarch barked "Jump!" He was a retired Navy officer, he expected, and demanded, mindless obedience of his subordinates.
I continued to observe the computer in action as I had never seen such a thing, and was very curious.
The Patriarch walked out of the building.
About 5 minutes later, he returned and still in a hostile frame of mind. This time, he was carrying an old, weather worn board, jagged with a rusty bent nail still lodged in it.
For about 5 minutes he proceeded to tear into my body from his irrational rage. His excuse was that I didn't immediately go outside as he commanded and begin mowing the lawn on demand.
Beaten and broken from his blistering out of control rage and violence, I proceeded to go about mowing the lawn as commanded to do.
For about 10 minutes, I pushed the mower cutting grass as the tears covering my face dried in the hot sunlight.
Suddenly, he was approaching me, once again with that same gnarled board. I shut down the mower and asked, "What's wrong?!"
He informs me now, I'm guilty of the trespass for not asking "WHICH LAWN to mow first?"
He proceeded to bludgeon my limbs, screaming irrationally and mercilessly with that wooden board.
When he was finished using my body as his personal punching bag to alleviate stress, I had been pushed to a breaking point nearing insanity.
Aren't police required to protect children in these circumstances?
I understand what slavery is, and what it does to the soul. Who cried for me? Who had my back? Nobody. I was imprisoned in this hell and isolation.
Visions of loading a gun kept pulsing through my mind as my injuries swelled. I continued to push the mower, trying to maintain self-control. Thoughts of ridding myself of the loveless monster whom it seemed only ever interacted except in a violent rage.
The only thing that prevented me from acting on such thoughts was a Biblical teaching instilled into me since birth, to strike down a parent will result in forfeiture of inheritance in the kingdom of God.
I decided it was not worth forfeiting my eternal life for the sake of delivering myself from the cruel oppressor. However, if I had acted on such impulses, and had received a fair trial the act would have been ruled a legitimate case of temporary insanity.
No human should EVER be forced to live in such deplorable neglect and cruelty.
The following day was Monday, a school day. It was during gym that a cousin, Shelly, observed the bruises and whelps, and I told her that I couldn't live in that house anymore.
I contemplated ending my own life to escape the abuse.
Shelly was concerned and demanded, "Leave! You're coming home with me!"
As described, the Narcissistic Matriarch lied to police, lied to child abuse investigators, and being a charming Narcissistic Psychopath that she was, they believed her.
I never had a chance at receiving justice or peace, to grow and develop into a well-balanced adult.
From that time on, the matriarch would do everything in her power, every opportunity to create a false narrative that I was the villain and she, the victim. She loved her public reputation more than her own daughter.
Hi. I'm here again to share another experience from when I was yet a defenseless child, around age 9, raised under the shadow of a Narcissistic mother.
Outsiders unfamiliar with a psychopath would only observe what they perceive as an “upstanding member of the community,” tax-paying, law-obeying (at least to their knowledge) by all superficial appearances.
As a child I already recognized, but could not fully fathom, “My mother hates me.”
It came by means of subtle and not so subtle hints.
For instance, the persistent problem of misfitted clothing. Lack of socks, underwear which had worn out elastic. Always outdated clothing, hand me downs, which drew constant criticism and bullying. It was as if the Matriarch's life mission to make blending in and acceptance, impossible.
I co-exist daily, with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Whenever I see a stove with boiling water it makes me ill at the sight of it, knowing what it can do to a human.
When I see the daily reports from Gaza of innocents with 3rd degree burns, it leaves me shattered. The only types of people who perpetrate such acts are monsters.
I recall that day in the late 1970s when the matriarch, out of the blue, decided to deviate from her normal method of using a cauldron of hot water to scald and clean chickens.
She switched it up with a lightweight pot of water that could be lifted with both hands.
She turns to me and says, “Go turn on the water spigot.” Like an obedient child, I ran but stopped midtrack as boiling water cascaded across my flesh.
In state of shock I slid from the soaked clothing, observing the epidermis sloughing off, exposing bright red subdermal tissue.
The pain was so intense, I began crying directly to God to end my suffering.
The Matriarch did not apologize. I never saw a tear. Never observed her make a single decision in haste.
She was well thought out and calculating as always. She bypassed the Conway Hospital.
According to the Conway Chamber of Commerce, the hospital was then located on 9th Avenue in Conway but she chose to bypass it and drive an additional 22 minutes or 15 miles all the way to the Myrtle Beach Air Force Base hospital.
Ever the logical money conscientious creature she was, since it was not her pain and the Patriarch's retirement from the U.S. Navy guaranteed FREE medical care.
On the way to Myrtle Beach, I did wonder why she felt it wasn't an emergency and why she took the long route.
However, when she was bit by a black widow spider she went straight to Conway Hospital for care. I understand in the mind of a psychopath, saving a couple hundred dollars outweighs the pain of a child she couldn't empathize with anyway. She snapped for me to be silent and was nasty about it, so I choked back my screams.
When we entered Myrtle Beach Air Force Base hospital, she immediately put on her charming facade, claiming it was “an accident.” Nobody thought to question how she could possibly be looking in the direction of a child as she “accidentally” threw boiling water on them.
The reasons why a mother would hate their own child that much is equally incomprehensible.
Your mother never has had anything kind to say about you, especially after Betty reported her to Department of Social Services when bruising and whelps were discovered on your legs after a hard beating. The matriarch got out of that one by leading investigators to believe she was the victim and the child, the victimizer.
So every time you are around her it is the standard browbeating. Of course, you are discouraged from seeking independence or hope to become self-sufficient.
Your Narcissist mother likes to keep her enemies close. It is easier to destroy them.
Your beloved pet parakeet dies. Despite your grief which you endure in silence, she spreads a vicious rumor, its death was caused because you supposedly, “Sacrificed it to Satan.”
Why is the mental health system designed to usher you in their industry and presume “Everything is in your head.” From the start, throw pills at you instead of teaching you straight facts to navigate people and see through the manipulative Narcissist mother or parents who are at the very root of your “problem”.
They will not teach you important survival terms such as “Triangulation.”
Triangulation is a common tactic when mother plays puppet master, turning sibling against sibling, as the matriarch grasps for herself center of attention and further control.
Such insight is necessary to equip you to step out of the mental confines of those who have shaped and controlled you since birth. Understanding why the Narcissist does what they do, is vital to gaining self-insight and help yourself.
I have not attended a therapy session in years, although I still wrestle with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I attribute this condition beginning early in life due to an atmosphere one psychologist described as “walking on eggshells,” due to both parents operating on a short fuse.
I learned at an early age to listen to the rhythm of my father's footsteps when he entered the house, to gauge if he were angry, or calm since he was typically silent and unpredictable. Without warning he often explode into a rage.
During those formative years there were no counselors. Only trauma.
Since becoming an older adult, on my own, without guidance or direction from mental health professionals, I have discovered and embraced a bit of Carl Jung's philosophy. Why wasn't the name of this insightful philosopher ever once suggested during counseling sessions? Thousands of dollars! Yet I was never given the type of guidance one needs to navigate thru vicious narcissist manipulation.
The sad reality is, such people do not change. For sake of your own happiness, well-being and peace you must remove such people from your life and move on. It is NEVER about yourself. It's always about them.
Growing and maturing in an atmosphere as I have described which entirely lacked the presence of nurturing parents, a child is deprived of the ability to develop a true sense of individuality.
In earlier years of my life one brother angrily questioned while doing mental cartwheels out loud, “What kind of parent tells you, ‘Nobody can love you like family does!’ but then proceeds to instill ‘You're worthless’?”
He had not been taught by anyone it is a common tactic in manipulative relationships. “Nobody can love you as I,” to isolate. To seed doubts in the mind. To drive home lack of self-confidence. Then the manipulative parent proceeds to break you down and destroy you, to even the playing field, projecting their own nothingness and worthlessness. It is about them. It was always about them.
You? You were never taught about boundaries or offered the opportunity to discover your individuality. To become a well-adjusted, balanced individual for it to ever be about ‘You.’”
An additional note about my relationship with my Grandmom. As I have mentioned in previous video titled “Boss Level Karen says 'There's not enough room for both of us on this planet, Mother-In-Law!'” Following the patriarch's decision to move back to his place of birth where my Grandmom still lived, I began spending Friday nights with her.
Having been isolated from every conceivable social, emotional and psychological sphere since I was snatched away from my grandmother in 1973 and moved a state away, I quickly developed a curiosity about her religion.
Grandmom Gertie was Baptist. In 1973, my parents had abandoned traditional religion and forced us to begin attending a cult, “The Worldwide Church of God,” once known as “The Radio Church of God,” since it was primarily found on radio.
One of those Friday evenings, in an act of quote unquote, “sinful rebellion” I attempted to sneak a Christian publication out in the back of my pants. I had called a 1-800 phone number advertising it for free, and received it by mail.
Immediately, the matriarch suspected I was hiding something and performed a physical search. She was not at all happy about the presence of religious literature contrary to the cult's doctrines. However, she allowed me to slip out with the booklet.
She would later accuse my Grandmom Gertie of teaching me to “Rebel against her authority.“
After a few weeks, my Grandmom Gertie invited me to attend her church with her. Surprisingly, my parents granted permission.
After a few weeks, Grandmom Gertie invited me to attend church with her. Surprisingly, my parents granted permission. (Parents agreed? Or did the Matriarch with-hold the information from the Patriarch, just to enrage him?)
I went with my Grandmom to her Baptist church and heard songs I had not heard before, listened to the sermon and carefully observed my surroundings. After years of hearing in the cult how Baptists... protestants and Catholics were the spawn of Satan, I realized the only thing I was observing was that I was surrounded by “normal” people.
Satan was not present. When the church service closed and Grandmom and our cousin Josie drove to a local restaurant called the Silver Hill Grill and we ate lunch together, it was the happiest... and the closest to normal I had ever felt in my life.
But that dream would come crashing down when Grandmom drove home that Sunday.
When we arrived back on the property, I got out of Grandmom's car, and watched her drive off, waving goodbye to her. It had genuinely been the happiest day of my life that I could remember.
Suddenly, the Patriarch came out of the TV Repair building and approached me, shaking his fist violently and screaming. He was so loud, that everyone in the surrounding neighborhood heard him.
“You know which day is the TRUE sabbath! You will never go there again! Never again!“
He ranted and raged for several minutes, shaking his fist in an explosive, mind-melting rage.
I slinked away, counting my blessings that I wasn't beaten to death on the spot. But just around the corner, my grandmom was just getting out of her car and heard every word of his violent rage.
I didn't see my grandmom for several days. When I did, she was sorrow-stricken, and her eyes were red from tears. She said she would not bring me to church with her again because of all the trouble it had caused.
My narcissist psychopath mother left me with a lot of toxic memories. They weigh heavily on my psyche and cast a shadow on everything in my life. Honestly, it brings me great peace to finally bring these dark secrets out into the light. Secrets that I was threatened to keep tucked away in silence, “or else.” She would call this a case of me being “rebellious!” “Wicked!” “Disobedient!”
No. It's just the sort of thing any legitimate investigator at child protective services would want to take into consideration.
When I was a child, she had the upper hand and succeeded to smoothly operate federal and county agencies, presenting the facade of a “Normal, law-abiding church going citizen who could do no wrong.” Most psychopaths do possess a charismatic influence on unsuspecting observers.
My grandmother, whom I loved dearly and was one of the only people I can honestly say, by her actions proved she genuinely loved me. My narcissist mother knew that and was threatened by that bond because it threatened her control, making it her goal to destroy that bond at every opportunity. For instance, in an act of “Triangulation” which is a tool of narcissists, she told me, “When I became pregnant with you, Gertie told me, “Margie! You have no business with another child.” To instill a belief that my own Grandmom did not want me to exist, before I was born. I asked Grandmom. She was offended. She confirmed, “I never said that, Sharon.” Of course she didn't. It was a projection of the Narcissist's own lack of human empathy. Margie didn't feel I deserved the right to exist.
My narcissist mother had a land dispute with my grandmother upon the passing of my granddaddy. So, in 1973, on the matriarch's demand the whole family was uprooted and were moved to another state for an entire decade.
I was yanked away from my grandmother at around 3 or 4 years of age. That too, is a story for another day.
In 1983, the Patriarch had a change of heart and wanted to return home. At long last, I got to see my sweet Grandmom again. Before this, I had only gotten to see Grandmom on Thanksgiving holidays, once per year. So, in 1983, Friday nights, I was allowed to visit her. They were some of the best times I had in my childhood. My grandmom would tell me about the “real” Margie she knew. The real Margie people didn't dare openly talk about. The “Jim Jones underbelly” Margie.
In one account Grandmom Gertie explained after Grandaddy's passing in 1973 Margie came to her friend Lily's store. It was an old country store. Miss Lily and Grandmom were at work with produce. Granddaddy was barely fresh in the grave. Margie announced to Miss Lily, “Before Rosemond died, he asked for us to forgive him for any wrong he had done to us!” Miss Lily, who knew the facts since Grandmom Gertie was her friend since childhood, thought. Then asked, “Well Margie, did you ask Rosemond's forgiveness for the wrong you've done to him?” Any sane person would pick up on the Christian connotations implied, but not Margie. Margie snapped defensively, “I never did any wrong to Rosemond.”
Grandmom looked at me, with a silent expression. Yes, we both understood “Margie”.
I loved my Grandmom Gertie and still miss her. She was more of a mother to me, than Margie ever was. She died in 1997 at the same time of the birth of my second daughter. Grandmom had suffered several strokes, which led to her slow, progressive demise. Knowing her imminent fate, my aunt kept her confined in her house, providing necessary care. The last major stroke had rendered my Grandmom incapacitated for the most part. Her eyes remained closed, but she would turn her head toward light or sound, which was evidence she could see and hear, but comprehension was guesswork. Nonetheless, I visited Grandmom with my newborn baby and spoke loudly, since she was hard of hearing.
”Grandmom! It's Sharon. I have the new baby. We're both doing very well.”
The narcissist matriarch, observed, and knowing nobody else was around at that moment, approached us.
In an uncharacteristic way with both hands, intending to appear loving for benefit of potential observers, gently began stroking Grandmom's hair. She whispered where only I and Grandmom could hear her.
”She doesn't hear you. You can't understand her. Can you Gertie!”
It was the final disgusting act that sealed confirmation of the sheer underlying hatred Margie held toward my Grandmom Gertie, and the spite she reveled in toward the bond me and my grandmother had.
A bond which the matriarch had done everything in her power to destroy.
While on the topic of the loving bond between me and my Grandmom Gertie, which the matriarch Margie tried everything in her power to destroy. As previously described in the video titled 'what a friend we have in Jesus' the matriarch and patriarch snuffed out any hope of attending church with my Grandmom and growing up with some semblance of normalcy.
In the worldwide church of God cult, Christmas was a forbidden holiday. They denounced Christmas because of its roots in paganism, citing Jeremiah 10. Of course, they never once thought to question the overt association between ancient Hebrews and olive tree oil worship.
I saw others bonding during the Christmas holiday, but I was condemned to perpetual isolation and loneliness due to my jailkeeper parents. One autumn somewhere between late 1980s early 90s I concluded in my heart I loved my Grandmom more than the cold-blooded fanatical zealotry of my parents and would've given anything to be able to be with my Grandmom on Christmas morning to give her a gift just to say, “I love you, Grandmom!” I determined to be there, even if I couldn't. Of course, as with everything else the Matriarch limited my access to money, but I managed to scrape together about ten dollars which came from saving lunch money or perhaps selling bottles or sweeping floors. I raised ten dollars then quietly slipped over to the home of a cousin, begging them not to tell the Matriarch, but use these ten dollars to buy Grandmom a gift she would enjoy from me for Christmas.
The cousin knew my impossible circumstances. I wanted to know nothing further from my cousin. Just do the job and for God's sake, say nothing that the matriarch would learn about the gift.
Weeks passed by Christmas came. My Grandmom spent that week with my aunt. It was one of the loneliest weeks because I didn't get to spend that Friday night with her. But after Christmas had passed, Grandmom returned home, and I got to see her again. When I went over to her home that Friday evening, she came to open the door, and her eyes were bloodshot from tears. She was bawling and told me that of all the Christmas gifts she received, this one, a small gold chain with a tiny pearl droplet was the most special to her “Because she KNEW the trouble I had to go through to get it for her.”
The Matriarch regarded the act as “defiant disobedience”.
Earlier, I deleted a butthurt viewer, who had nothing beyond leaving a comment, “AI,” as if that were supposedly a valid argument against the facts I presented about Bobby Fischer and the Worldwide Church of God.
Or perhaps they are butthurt about the facts I presented in regard to Ron Gross, a fraud who pretended to be a close, personal friend to Bobby Fischer from childhood. The facts are Ronald Gross was 19 when Bobby Fischer was 11, and were separated around 3,000 miles between the east and west coasts.
I make no apologies for resurrecting my own face, from the year 1987, and utilizing my real face with advances in modern technology to reclaim my voice which a serial killer tried to steal from me. Federal witness protection program was alluded to during the 9 month investigation. At that time, I turned it down.
Perhaps the detractor is challenging me to use my current appearance to make me a target of his Neo-Nazi friends. Or perhaps because he can not taunt, “Ugly” or other Ad Hominems.
Yes, this is in fact, my real face. More real than the detractor who uses AI to transmit his worthless trolling comments.
Some individuals questioned when I stated, “The same thing that happened to Bobby Fischer, happened to me.” Of course they would not understand. Bobby Fischer had a mother who loved him, supported him. He was raised by a single parent who was Agnostic. Myself? I had both parents, firmly rooted in strict fundamentalist Christian backgrounds who were not supportive but had my goals carved out for me, that being to marry and be a stay at home mother. Typical 1960 and 1970 nonsense that doesn't work in the real world.
Bobby Fischer testified to the Ambassador Report of reading Herbert Armstrong's “The Radio Church of God” publications for a year or two. Probably somewhere around 1959, then later, around 1962, joined the Radio Church of God cult by deciding to become an active contributing co-worker, by tithing 10 percent of his income, which would include all the special donations and additional tithes.
To understand the similarities, one must understand the doctrines of the Worldwide Church of God.
The Worldwide Church of God was a doomsday cult with a regular diet of sermons and publications, reinforcing the belief that the Jews alone kept the Old Covenant, and were the Chosen People.
Part 2 of 12
Above all Jesus did not do away with the Old Testament in the Bible. On the contrary, he came to enforce Old Testament law. For this reason Catholicism and Protestant Christianity was denounced as on par with the Spawn of Satan. The cross, an ancient and universal symbol of Christianity was denounced as idolatry, citing the second of the Ten Commandments.
The Worldwide Church of God was "Christian" in name only, but with regards to Forgiveness... Grace? These concepts figured nowhere in the church's doctrines.
In my young mind, my perception was one of a God created in the image of Armstrong and my parents, a God of wrath, intemperate that the slightest thing might set the deity off into a godless wrath to destroy even a child. The cult was also a magnet for individuals like my parents who took great pleasure in ridiculing their own children as “wicked,” “rebellious,” “unworthy,” “worthless” which fit perfectly into the religion I had the misfortune of being brought into.
Herbert Armstrong's doctrines kept the concept of faith, compassion and forgiveness at bay. Any hope of escape from the torment during the “Last Days” was always one tithe more, out of reach and fed a diet of Holocaust horrors as penalty for stepping out of line.
Part 3 of 12
How the book of Revelations predicted a second coming of a Nazi Germany and Fascist Europe, presumably with the Pope in Rome Italy at its helm, otherwise known as “The Antichrist” who would arise and invade America and Britain, persecuting those of us who kept the Saturday Sabbath! We would be forced to keep Sunday, and convert to protestant Christianity or Catholicism or face the horrors of the second Holocaust.
Citing Revelation 12, how the serpent pursued the woman, that is, “The Church.” Including those who keep the Old Testament law, such as the Jews. This second time, the devil would not be satisfied with the Jews alone, because the devil “knows his time is short.” Not everyone would be found worthy by God for divine protection, only those adhering firmly to Herbert Armstrong's doctrines, as his one true apostle chanced escaping the tribulation in the last days.
That is why Bobby Fischer eventually reports to have given all his prize winnings from the 1972 tournament with Boris Spassky, to the Herbert Armstrong cult. Bobby put his financial and legal management into the hands of Stanley Rader, the managing lawyer of the cult headquartered in Pasadena, California.
Some have claimed the cult taught “antisemitic” doctrines.
Part 4 of 12
There were no antisemitic doctrines. I was taught the Jews who kept Old Testament law were “The Chosen” of God. Their trials and tribulations and persecution was Gospel writ. I knew the doctrines of the church when my frightened brother taught himself German, and studied the Holocaust feverishly to prepare for the last days. His obsession with the Holocaust and Germany was brought on of course, by Herbert Armstrong's perversion of scripture, instilling a form of spirituality based in fear, creating an atmosphere of intimidation and constant panic for survival. Hopelessness.
For instance, when I was around 8 years old, one evening my father became enraged at my brother's questions and comments regarding the Holocaust, and in a rage, took out a pocket knife, pressing the blade against my brother's foot threatening to cut off a toe. “Here's what the Germans did to the Jews!”
Anyone who genuinely believes the atmosphere I grew up in was anything less than dysfunctional at best, needs their own head checked.
We were taught “Jew worship.” The Jewish experience was held up to members and coworkers alike as the example of what one may face when obeying the commandments of God, perhaps even perishing as the price to pay.
Part 5 of 12
Those who suggest the Worldwide Church of God taught Antisemitic doctrines, are clearly speaking from an utter lack of knowledge.
The confusion seems to spawn from what is called, “British Israelism” or “Identity” religions. The hypothesis of British Israelism began with Reverend John Wilson in 1870 who asserted that Anglo-Saxons were the supposed lost ten tribes of Israel. Edward Hine brought the false hypothesis to the United States, publishing “Identification of the British Nation with Lost Israel.” Though mostly unsuccessful, some, such as Herbert W. Armstrong learned of it, adapting it to their own peculiar religious doctrines. Decades later, groups such as the overtly racist hate group, Aryan Nations would incorporate Edward Hine's hypothesis as core doctrine for their own peculiar spin on scripture. However, it's unrelated. Even the scholars at Christian Research Institute acknowledge, quote, “Today, with few exceptions, the Worldwide Church of God being one, most adherents of Anglo-Israelism are in the Identity movement.” Note the Christian Research Institute differentiates between overtly violent racist groups, and the religion of Herbert W. Armstrong. People of ALL races were welcomed in the Worldwide Church of God.
Part 6 of 12
Regina Fischer, the mother of Bobby Fischer, was notoriously pro-left, pro equality, anti-war… a peace activist and civil rights advocate. Bobby Fischer expressed some of the same values, until he began to familiarize himself with the doctrines of Herbert Armstrong around 1959. A shift in his demeanor could be witnessed by things he said and did, thereafter. Notably his views on women. Like me, it was taught that God's design for women was to be a wife, a mother and homemaker. Such views were common for the period and many, scowled at feminist ideologies. However, surprisingly, during an interview with Dick Cavett in 1972 on the eve of Fischer's world title match with Boris Spassky, Mr. Fischer commended female chess players, paying great compliment to the Russian lady champion, Nona Gaprindashvili.
It was during 1972 when the Worldwide Church of God, formerly Radio Church of God (since television had became the new medium for evangelists). The Great Tribulation was to take shape, in 1972, and just prior to the world devolving into chaos and destruction, God would call those who obeyed the apostle, Herbert Armstrong and ensure their escape to the place of safety. Bobby Fischer contributed thousands of dollars ensuring his escape.
Part 7 of 12
In 1972, there was no escape to the place of safety. No exodus. Not even a Jim Jones or Heaven's Gate cult-styled mass panic. No lives apparently were taken, however, many cult members began to question their long-held indoctrination of Armstrong's ability to interpret scripture. It was a slow process after years of indoctrination. It's difficult to question authority after years of having it instilled to rather, question your own mind. To cast doubts on self, rather than the church who has helped themselves to your generosity and bank account.
Between 1972 and 1979 there was a slow unraveling for Bobby Fischer. He began to doubt the rise of a Fascist Europe and invasion of the United States and Britain, and began to search out alternative publications, not sanctioned by the Worldwide Church of God. Alternative sources, especially those printed by the Nazis, since after all, Herbert Armstrong emphatically prophesied it were they who would emerge. Out of fear, and unsettling doubts, I too did the same thing to discover, “What are the Nazis planning? When will they invade? Is the book of Revelation really fulfilling how Mr. Armstrong says it will?” How better to discover those answers than to go straight to the actual source.
Part 8 of 12
However, neither of us were prepared to navigate through such deep levels of Nazi exaggerations, fraud and deception. This turn of events in Bobby Fischer's life is described succinctly, by the New York Times from an article dated January 19, 2008. They state, Mr. Fischer “tithed to the Worldwide Church of God, a fringe church he had become involved with beginning in the early 1960s.” And around 1972, “For a time, Mr. Fischer lived in Pasadena, California, the church’s home base, where he was said to spend his time replaying chess games and reading Nazi literature. There were reports that he was destitute, though the state of his finances was never clear.”
Anyone who genuinely believes Bobby Fischer picked up such literature from the Herbert Armstrong cult, are, in my opinion, laughable. You can not purchase copies of Mein Kampf or books written by Ben Klassen of the Creativity Movement's “Church of the Creator” from the Worldwide Church of God. In a letter to Pal Benko, dated 1979, Bobby Fischer mentions reading these racist publications, finding bits and pieces of common ground in regard to political sentiments, but expressed his contempt with the quote unquote, extreme racist. That's because Bobby Fischer never was racist.
Part 9 of 12
I obtained literature and publications through the mail, the likes of which Bobby Fischer was reportedly studying. At this period in history there was no internet available to fact-check the extraordinary claims of Nazi. I tracked down one address which lead to another source, and then another, resulting in a pot luck of publications to discover what I could about the Nazis and their plans. What I received from abroad was a mixture of views and ideologies. Some organizations were racist while others were not. Some publications exclusively criticized the brutality of circumcision, a few publications focused on the usurping of Palestinian sovereignty, but mixed within my mail were publications I know today as espousing the superstitious “Judeo Bolshevik Conspiracy” myth. This dangerous, seductive ideology has been around for at least a century to target Jews, playing on even older stereotypes of adherents of the Jewish faith. However, no better or worse than Protestants and Catholics reciprocally castigating the other as they carried on with the infamy of the Thirty Years War which occurred between 1618 and 1648, culminating in a death toll of around 8 million Europeans. The Pope was portrayed as antichrist.
Part 10 of 12
Meanwhile, Luther and Tyndall were portrayed by their detractors as part of the multiheaded beast from the book of Revelations. The Mediaeval hangover of religious squabblings is a major contributing factor to the Judeo Bolshevik Conspiracy which Adolf Hitler revised to suit for his own political agenda, whipping post World War One Germany into a frenzy. The Germans really were no different than any other nationality. When people are unemployed, hungry, destitute, they're eager to hear a voice telling them what they want to hear. “Your superiority entitles you to better” and, “Your problems in life are to blame on this group. Or, that group!” Never the fault of the people with the power to bring about positive social change.
The quote unquote Jews were blamed for the usurping of the Russian people in 1917 by the Bolshevik party, which were to later become officially known as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, or USSR, Soviet Union for short. Cold War hostilities played into menacing publications by Nazi, claiming the Atheist Karl Marx was somehow an adherent to Judaism? Every leading figure in the Bolshevik party by use of mental gymnastics, are identified as quote unquote Jews.
Part 11 of 12
Of course, all the innocent Jews of faith who tragically lost their life in the Soviet Union's atheistic persecutions of Jews, such as those Jews who were discovered in the mass graves of Katyn are conveniently erased from the Nazi histories. This selective omission is critical in brainwashing the minds of readers to convert them into anti-Jewish parrots, for lack of a better word. Religion and politics equals certain death as George Carlin once so eloquently put it.
After years of exposure to these deceptive publications, Bobby Fischer was lured back out into the public in 1992 for his rematch with Boris Spassky. The rest is history. His hostility toward so-called quote unquote Jews, was cemented. Having myself, once, been indoctrinated by the brain poison of the Judeo Bolshevik Conspiracy myth, I understand from where Bobby Fischer was coming from, although I do not sympathize with the beliefs, I do empathize with the man and the tragic circumstances that led him down that dark winding road froth with lies and dishonesty. One example of this brainwash indoctrination was that Bobby Fischer reportedly called Bill Clinton, a “secret Jew”. Bill and Hillary Clinton make no secret nor apology for their Christian Zionist beliefs. [Christian Zionists outnumber Jewish Zionists, 30 to 1!]
Part 12 of 12
As Joe Biden unapologetically stated “You don't have to be a Jew to be a Zionist.” The word Zionist was seldom if ever, used in publications I encountered 1970s through 1990s era. Such selective ommission, I believe, intentional, to mislead thousands of people into false belief Judaism and Zionism are synonymous. Such mindless persecution also gives further validation the Israel lobby desperately seeks. Joe Biden, a Catholic, says as much in an interview quoted in 2024, “Zionist is about… Israel.” “Now, you'll be able to make a lot of that because different people don't know what a Zionist is”. I agree. Bobby Fischer read Nazi publications which failed to factually inform. The majority of Jews live around the world identifying only by their faith and many nationalities and benefit nothing from the existence of Israel.
However, those who do benefit from the existence of Israel are primarily of European strain, employed as executives in big oil and weapons industries.
As long as they are allowed to continue convincing people like Bobby Fischer that Judaism and Christian Zionism are synonymous, the status quo of hate movements spawned from such publications will continue, unchecked.
It's so difficult talking about the traumatic experiences that gobbled up and consumed 95% of my childhood, everything from child abuse to child predators. During that time, I was completely alone with no support network but surrounded by gaslighting.
Finally, I've found a medium I feel comfortable with, that makes it easier for me to divulge the thoughts I've kept hidden for decades.
Hi. My mother was a psychopath. She died a couple years ago, so now I feel a little safer to finally open up and share my experiences growing up in the shadow of a Narcissist Psychopath. It was difficult and painful. I survived but not without personal, deeply inflicted trauma that I find myself struggling with daily, even in my fifties. I was not allowed to criticize, or even question, the cruelty of physical, mental and spiritual isolation, which enabled her to carry out abusive neglect and manipulative coercion for decades. That includes manipulating those within her network of influence who were useful to condemn any open criticism of what was taking place behind closed doors. Narcissist Psychopaths are skilled in manipulation, a puppet master of sorts. Right is called wrong, wrong is praised as right when it benefits the matriarch who perceives herself as the all important center of everything. To casual acquaintances on the outside of the matriarch's circle, she presented herself as a Godly Christian who could do no wrong. Always presenting a pleasant demeanor and self control. However, in private, some of we, her children who could not blind ourselves to the symptoms of evil... but we dare not call them by their true name.
I ask you this. How is a child supposed to concentrate on something as simple as school work, when they are being taught any day, the Biblical book of Revelations will fulfil? Their church has a policy of never baptising children. Baptised adults alone are guaranteed the divine protection of God during he time of the great tribulation. Baptized adults will be whisked away to a place of safety, leaving behind the unbaptized, sinners and the unworthy to fend for themselves. That was my childhood, a pervasive fear that when I would arrive home from school, my parents, even my siblings, gone. I would be abandoned. Neglect was commonplace, so in the mind of a 7th Grade student, parents must know best. How is a child supposed to know they are being neglected and doing such things to a child is wrong? That's it too. Who is teaching the child the difference between right and wrong? Where's the moral compass?
What will I eat? How will I clothe myself? Will I know how to survive in the woods?
Such questions plagued my young mind. My mother nor father never gave a second thought to how the cult's doctrines were affecting their children, because it was after all, only about themselves.
Children were to be seen. Never heard. Our little soul and salvation were totally unimportant.
A child's only purpose for existence was strict, unquestioning obedience to their parents. Parents are, after all, symbolic of the God Hierarchy. Our father symbolizes God and our mother, symbolizing Jesus himself who stands at the right hand of God. Nothing more. Nothing less. All that benefits the matriarch is the be-all and end-all purpose for spiritual faith.
The kind of things a Narcissistic Psychopath will say.
When psychopathy has became so normalized you don't have the fear you should and you marry one. He murdered 3 innocent people and you begin the spiral into nervous breakdown after 9 months of terroristic threats by package, one containing an explosive device, communications through telephone, and written correspondence which you turned over to federal bureau of investigation. When he is arrested and a list of three confirmed victims after 9 months of terroristic threats, you can no longer handle a full course of college courses. You are obligated to tell your mother everything, so, “I must drop some of my courses. I can't handle everything that's going on!”
Your mother, a certified Narcissistic Psychopath retorts with a very honest response. “If it was Ronie, it wouldn't bother me.”
Her response left me in the same, familiar state of shock and awe. All I could do was sit there, on the porch, her words sinking in.
A brother who had been standing nearby in the shadows, crept forward, chuckling in a whisper. “Did you hear what she said?! She's saying that if Dad murdered three people, it wouldn't bother her.” He left off with a laughing chuckle. “That's my mama!”
Question for the moment, quoting Old Testament of the Bible, Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother.” This, the 5th commandment, has been latched on by every NPD, world over, for centuries to use as a battery ram against their own children to extract unquestioning loyalty to their overbearing manipulative parent.
Many fundamentalists express the right to throw a child into the streets to starve to death if they “slip up” and become pregnant out of wedlock. Is that what God instructed done to orphans and widows?
Even when I was 35 years of age, I was still being lectured by my Narcissist Psychopath Disordered mother for so-called “rebellion,” and “disobedience.”
35! Yet expected to offer reverence of a 5 year old she expected I should be rather than true to myself as my own woman, in reality.
How dare I think for myself, or have my own separate interests, hopes, ambitions, separate from mother or father's.
Words can not express how damaging this abuse is, because the missed decades of opportunities to develop a healthy sense of self and independence are shot to the wind! I dwelt in a constant state of panic and existence, never living.
The motto of Americans is supposed to be “Life, Liberty and pursuit of happiness.”
Fundamentalists and especially Narcissist Psychopath Disordered fundamentalists don't believe in that motto. In their distorted mind they are the center of the cosmos and everything, emphasis, every thing, therein exists for their own benefit.
Therefore, Happiness!? Yes, but only for the Narcissist Psychopath parent.
Never the child. The child's happiness is indifferent and reliant on whether or not the Narcissist parent is happy.
The child's individuality is non-existent, forbidden, a direct act of rebellion and defiance and should be immediately remedied by having the child merked for their rebellion by elders in the street, or so they express desiring “in an ideal world” as their Bible states in Deuteronomy 21:18.
Can you see how scripture, presumably the word of God, is twisted by use of mental gymnastics to suit the nefarious purpose of evil men and women?
Eventually, by consultation with a sane counselor, to whom my ripe age had became undeniably apparent, finally saw through the fog and beyond into the darkness of the destructive disordered mind of the over arched, overbearing manipulative mother I had the misfortune of being biologically related to. The woman who taught by action boundaries are non-existent.
This new counselor advised me to move far away as possible from the matriarch, including the local circle I was isolated within whom the matriarch had successfully manipulated with complete and total control over the opinion they bear toward me.
Such people were useful in the matriarch's schemes to hold me in a perpetual state of isolation and prevented, years before, from moving to start a new life on my own out of her reach.
They would step forward to instill self-doubt, make allegations of mental illness, gaslighting! always gaslighting or assist the matriarch in some scheme or another to intimidate me back into isolation behind four walls. I guess it is as they say, “Keep your friends close, but the people you hate, closer.”
When I began to make my move to a city beyond the standard scope of the matriarch's reach, I soon learned even there, she had still managed to discover a line in to gossip! No where was safe from her prying and keeping tabs on my activities.
In spite of the insanity of the matriarch's prying, I began to discover the counselor was correct.
I acquainted new people, neighbors who were nothing at all like the people I had been around.
For the first time in my life, a slight sense of peace began to creep in.
Why did former counselors, people who were in a position of authority fail to do this, advising me to leave, vacate, 20 or 30 years earlier?
Perhaps because the Narcissistic Psychopath is a charmer and social butterfly, charismatic in their public persona.
Why didn't Child Protective Services step in and rescue me from such a household rife with neglect, abuse and sadistic tendencies when I was 12, 15, 17?! Why did I have the misfortune of being forced to suffer in silence for decades, beaten brutally more times than I can count, restricted financially, socially, denied every thing that would offer some semblance of a normal childhood.
Denied affection, without a savior from the clutches of a Narcissistic Psychopath?
As to Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and mother”. Did not Jesus say himself in Matthew 10:35, “For I have come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother”?
Why does this verse go unnoticed by the Dena Schlossers of the world, the Karens and the Margies?
The unwritten rule in the household tended toward unquestioned use of intimidation by authority to keep strict control at all times.
They demanded unconditional respect and blind obedience.
But respect is earned.
There is a difference between intimidation and respect.
Further, as to Exodus 20 12 it is written in First Corinthians 6 19 that our bodies are sacred because God's Holy Spirit is supposed to dwell within us.
Yes, even within children, but the Narcissistic Psychopath parent can not fathom this, after all, she sees herself as the embodiment of God, not a mere vessel.
Her every whim is tainted with her confidence and self-assured righteousness that she can do no wrong just as her every whim and will, is backed by the will of God.
The question should be whether or not we ought to render blind faith obedience and obeisance to a negligent, cruel, sadistic parent over our own physical, spiritual and mental well-being?
Corinthians 6 19 states our body is a sanctuary.
One does not belong to themself as their own property but rather, belongs to God.
Likewise, if a child's soul and body belong to God, then how much less the property of a Narcissistic Psychopath mother?! to abuse on a whim and do with as she sees fit due to her lack of natural maternal instinct.
How many more children must be brutalized, injured, even die each year due to negligent Narcissist parents high on their own self-serving distortions of scripture?
In regards to Bobby Fischer, world chess champion chess player I often write about, after my experiences around NPD I recognize the modus operandi. Gaslighting is a preferred tactic to divert negative attention on their targeted victim.
NPD have no regard for truth or justice, only self-centeredness. When they don't get their way, revenge.Young Bobby, coming into his own as a celebrity refused to oblige demands of those he was surrounded by, soon facing a barrage of vicious rumors and negative press.
Brazen lies are the NPD's favorite tactic to deal with rejection.
Just like myself, Bobby Fischer was facing an onslaught of negative rumors and baseless slander by those seeking to use Bobby for their own stepping stone to fame and fortune or perceiving him as a threat to their own entitlement.
Finding himself brunt of public ridicule, mixed with praise for his genius, joined Radio Church of God, a cult, there spending many years in seclusion. In time, his isolation grew.
The WCG was a fundamentalist doomsday cult which my own parents forced me to attend.
Targeted victims of NPD's are often destined to find themselves living in perpetual isolation due to impossibility of fitting into the “social network” NPD's weave for themselves.
